Mother’s Day – A Perspective From a Mom and Daughter!
Every year I get asked by the Hubby and my kids what I want for mother’s day, and I usually go for the standard hanging flower baskets that I dearly love to enjoy all summer long from my deck, or something similar for my yard or garden.
But this year, I’ve really put some thought into it – you see it’s been a bit of a tough year. Not only am I a working mother of grown children (ages 23 and 27) but I’m also a daughter of an aging mother.
My mother has had a very up/down year. Her health and over-all well-being have taken a definite down turn – don’t get me wrong, for a 92 year old woman she is one tough “cookie”, who still lives in an “assisted” living situation versus a nursing home. That alone is quite an accomplishment at 92 years of age. But her memory is failing her badly, and the sad truth is that she is fully aware of the fact. It’s a tough pill for her to swallow and she definitely struggles with accepting it. She has always been a very independent and private woman as well, and now having to rely on someone else for the simplest of things like bathing, getting dressed, and to some degree just getting around is also very difficult for her to accept – even on her best days.
On the not-so-good days, her days are marked with confusion, depression, and agitation – the latter I’m sure is caused by the first two and her inability to come to terms with them. Did I mention she’s a tough “cookie” and a fighter? Yeah, so accepting things that are so unacceptable to a her, isn’t such an easy task to take on.
So I digressed from the original question, which was “What would I love for Mother’s Day this year?” – well what I would totally love is a simple day with both of my children and hubby. Time spent together as a family – eating good food together, laughing, playing games, sitting by a fire pit in the evening sharing a couple of drinks and some good conversation. The best part of my wish? – is that it came true the week-end before Mother's Day this year! We had a wonderful, fun weekend doing all the things I listed and more. Although I know my daughter would love to be here this weekend also, to actually share Mother's Day itself, she has to work – making sure other mom's have an awesome Mother's Day as well, and I'm very proud of her for that!
You see, if I want a hanging basket or two, I can go buy them for myself – but what I can’t buy is “time” with my children and family. Time passes very quickly, children grow up and move on to busy lives of their own, and eventually with children of their own. We all get busy with our day-to-day lives – work, homes, significant others, etc. – and don’t get to spend as much “time” together as we used to.
I will also go spend time with my mom this Mother’s day weekend, because I realize that this was, and is, her greatest “wish” for mother’s day as well. You see, as I said, “time” can’t be bought, slowed down, or stopped… it marches on whether we want it to or not. And so many times we get so wrapped up in getting all the things done that need doing, that we forget to simply slow down, gather our family around us, and simply enjoy being together without worrying about everything that needs doing! I have definitely been guilty of this with my own Mother, and I do regret it.
So to me, the best gift in the world would just be the simple pleasures of family being together, and that time spent together making memories to treasure a life-time! I know it sounds cliché but it truly is my heartfelt wish not only for myself but for all the moms out there!
May you all enjoy a wonderful Mother's Day filled with the things that make you happiest!